This Easter weekend we lived through a tebble nightmare. We were visited by no one else but the actual Easter Bunny. They may describe them as cute and fluffy in books - but no, it's all a big fat lie just like Santa. It's time to face the realities. Easter Bunny is evil. Easter Bunny doesn't give you chocolate eggs - no, instead scotch eggs - made from meat of small children that Bunny kills. Bunny first lures a child towards her by smiling sweetly and pointing at the child, then pointing back at herself then at the basket of brightly coloured chocolate eggs which are nut milk and gluten free, just in case the child is allergic, but stuffed full of the really cool LSD drug; the child is therefore attracted to come closer to the Easter Bunny and quickly grabs an egg and eats it faster then lightning. While the child is over the moon in a technicolour LSD world the Bunny quickly chops the little creature's head off with a very big and sharp knife, eats the brains (only if the child seems smart enough) and makes the chocolate flavoured scotch eggs. Luckily we managed to resist the temptation and shot the Easter Bunny right in the foot. Haha no jumping and eating children for you my friend! Someone's going to be a vegetarian!And yes, this is an absolute fact - bunnies really are predators of humans - at night when noones watching they come in groups and nibble on your ears. Beware!
horrible
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